"Forgiveness - Part 1" Matthew 18b Nov 3 2024
God With Us - Discovering the Gospel of Matthew • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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· 10 viewsWe need to forgive others in a biblical way
Notes
Transcript
Intro and Prayer
Intro and Prayer
Hi Friends
We have a lot to cover today - let’s get started
We’re going to dive into the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
The last part of Matthew 18
It’s all on forgiveness
This parable has too much to unpack in one message
Today: “Forgiveness - Part 1”
Next week: “Forgiveness - Part 2”
(Real creativeness!)
Let’s first look at this parable, starting in verse 21
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
(Pray…)
Illustration
Illustration
Today, we're going to take a biblical look at forgiveness.
And I'm reminded of a story about a Sunday school teacher.
In the middle of the lesson one Sunday, two boys in the back of the room were arguing. The teacher stopped the class and asked what the problem was. One of the boys replied that on the way to Sunday school the other had hit him.
Then the teacher thought to herself, “This is a great opportunity to teach them about forgiveness.” She called the two boys to the front of the class.
Then the teacher asked the all-important question. “Brian, will you forgive Luke?”
“Sure,” Brian said. He then hauled off and punched Luke in the stomach.
“Wait a minute,” the teacher yelled, grabbing Brian by the arm. “I asked you to forgive Luke, not hit him.”
“I will forgive him,” Brian protested, “but I had to get even with him first.”
Understanding What God Wants From Us
Understanding What God Wants From Us
We’re looking at forgiveness today
This is based on the parable of Jesus in Matt 18
Here’s a key to understanding the parable for us -
By nature, true Christians are forgiving people
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
We are commanded to forgive one another
As I read that verse, did you notice why we are forgiving people
Let’s read the verse again - the reason why we forgive is given right in that verse
Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
As God has forgiven me - through the blood of Jesus - I am to respond by forgiving others
Here’s another verse that also gives the reason why we need to forgive others
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
We are to forgive others because God forgave us
As Christians, why does God forgive us?
Through his abundant grace & mercy - that’s where his forgiveness comes from
But why does God even bother to forgive us?
God forgives us so that we can have a restored, reconciled relationship with the Father
that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
The message of reconciliation is the Gospel - that Christ died for us and forgave us, so we can be reconciled with God
And we can’t very well share the Gospel of reconciliation if we’re not willing to reconcile with each other!
We’re going to look at the parable, commonly called The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
And the last 2 verses of this parable ends with a very stern warning of foreboding – it says:
And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
And we read that and think, “If I don't completely forgive someone who committed evil against me, I'm going to hell”
In short, some Christians have made the lesson from the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, as a requirement for salvation
This is what you might have heard preached to you in the past – usually, at the end of a sermon - preachers will have you close your eyes and think...who is the person that comes to mind?
“Who is a person who you need to forgive?”
And we go away, thinking, “If I can't completely forgive my dad who used to beat me and hurt me, then I must be going to hell.”
Here’s how to understand this last verse, 35
Verse 35 is assuming that Christians, by nature, are forgiving people
Verse 35 is specifically talking about someone who refuses to forgive, even if the other person begs for mercy
In the final analysis - if a person claims to be a Christian - but is heartless and cannot forgive another person who asks for forgiveness - then I’d question their salvation
Just as I would question the salvation of a person who never bears the fruit of the Spirit
Or a person who never displays good works
I want to give you some hope
This parable is not talking about someone, who I would call a monster, who profoundly hurt you - they hurt you so bad, it was criminal
And this parable is certainly not about someone for you -
where it’s now impossible or inappropriate for you to reach out and communicate with that monster in your life
Secondly, according to Jesus, our first response to someone who sins against us is actually not to forgive them
According to Jesus, forgiving your brother or sister is not the first thing we ought to do
Now, that may sound odd
I’m going to show this to you this later through Scripture - so hold that thought
Our first response is to not forgive - our forgiveness for others is conditional
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we need to completely exonerate someone who does not repent –
For some reason, the church has bought the notion of cheap forgiveness
and just quietly forgive others without any confrontation
I think most people want to avoid confrontation
Unfortunately, without a loving confrontation, they miss out on reconciliation and a deeper relationship
There’s also a fear in forgiving someone: That I might give up my principles – and I will somehow lose something
“For me to forgive that person, is the same thing as becoming like them – it's like I'm condoning that person”
But biblical forgiveness forgives the sin - it never condones it
Three types of forgiveness: Exoneration, Forbearance, Release
In every case where someone has wronged you - you are commanded to forgive that person in one of those three ways:
Three Types of Forgiveness:
Exoneration
Forbearance
Release
There is biblical justification for each type
And there is one thing that needs to happen in your heart with all three:
Once you forgive someone - you forever give up the right to hold a grudge against that person
That means, you can’t go through life with a chip on your shoulder
If you have a chip on your shoulder, you are keeping yourself from truly serving the Lord
How can you fully give yourself to the Lord, if you haven’t forgiven another human being?
Exoneration
Exoneration
Exoneration:
I know that’s sort of a legal term - but it’s the best word I can think of
That word is actually not in the Bible, but -
It’s what we usually think of when we think of “forgiveness”
Wipes the slate clean
Restores the relationship
Why does God forgive us?
So we can have a right relationship with him
God forgives us because he wants to have a restored relationship with us
Before we can go to Heaven - we need to be made right with God
So we repent and place our trust in Jesus
And it’s through the blood of Jesus, that God exonerates us and wipes the slate clean
That restores our relationship with him - and makes us right before him
More than just going to Heaven - we have a restored relationship with God
Exonerating someone restores that relationship - but it doesn’t necessarily immediately restore trust with one another
Restoring trust may take a long time - or never
Let’s say you borrow my car and return it with a dent - and ask for forgiveness - and then I forgive you
But then next time you borrow my car - you explain that you left the window open all night…and it rained!
I can forgive you…again - and our relationship is restored - but I have the right to not let you borrow my car ever again
I’ve forgiven you
I don’t resent you
I love you
Our relationship is restored
But in the name of Jesus, you may never borrow my car again (at least for a long time)
The relationship is restored, but some of the conditions have been modified
What else does it mean to exonerate someone?
This type of forgiveness - when you forgive others - means that as much as humanly possible, you have forgotten the offense
You’ve given up all rights to bring it up in the future - right, husbands & wives?
This type of forgiveness is called exoneration – it's how God forgives us, and it's the way in which God commands us to forgive one another
The main result of exoneration is a restored relationship
That’s why God forgives us - so we can have a right relationship with him
That’s our desire when we forgive others like this: that our relationship is restored with that person
Forbearance
Forbearance
Forbearance
Another legal term
A little more complicated
The legal definition of forbearance means “holding back”
This is where the offender offers a partial apology
The offender may only admit to partial blame – and may assign some blame to you
A lot of times, the other person doesn’t even think they need you to forgive them
It may even come across as offensive
“You...forgive me? I don't need forgiveness, you do!”
Forbearance with someone means you are showing patience and self-control
It means that the relationship is ultimately greater to you than the offense
It’s really saying: let’s not let this thing get out of control
Forbearance actually sees the relationship a top priority - even though the two parties are in a sticky situation
This type of forgiveness can actually lead to exoneration eventually - it should lead to exoneration
Usually seen: from a mortgage lender, or credit card company
It also happens in criminal court when the prosecution offers a plea deal
This type of forgiveness is called forbearance – I believe David forgave Saul in this way...as an act of forbearance
We see a similar example of Paul & Barnabas - they had a huge disagreement about John Mark - and they even went their separate ways
But they eventually reconciled
There was first forbearance - but later exoneration
Remember when Jesus said, “You people have no faith. How long must I stay with you? How long must I put up with you?” [Mark 9:19]
That’s a type of temporary forbearance Jesus had
In forbearance, there is a level of peace between the two parties regarding the current situation
Ideally, forbearance should lead to exoneration
Three types of forgiveness:
1.) Exoneration
2.) Forbearance
3.) Release
Release
Release
Release
This type of forgiveness is usually the most difficult
It comes from when the offender neither acknowledges their guilt, nor apologizes for what they have done
This may come from: child abuse or maybe a violent offense, a business deal gone sour, or any deep betrayal
The offender could be, what I call, a monster in your life - or they are now deceased
I want to be clear - the Bible does not command you to confront the monsters in your life
In most cases, that would be inappropriate
For example - someone who commited a violent crime against you or a loved one
It may be someone who deeply hurt you when you were a child - or is now dead
In any case, you need to release that person from your past - and give it all to the Lord
You’re not exonerating them - you’re releasing them
Release does not restore relationship
It releases you from the stress of holding a grudge
Some of you have a big chip on your shoulder - and the Lord wants you to be free of that
If you don’t release it - it becomes like a cancer...
Pray - and ask God to help you release it - and don’t just release it - release that person to the Lord
And do your best from this point, to never harbor ill-feelings against this person
It helps you to experience healing from the situation
“Lord, help me to release what happened to me. I give it all to you - help me to never be in bondage with this ever again. In Jesus’ name!”
You may need to pray that prayer over and over - but it’s important that you forgive that person by releasing them
You’re not exonerating them - you’re not excusing what they did to you - you’re releasing it to God
But it is a type of forgiveness
Not forgiving a person in this way, means that you are allowing the offender to continue to harm you - emotionally and spiritually
Did you know releasing a person is Christ-like
Do you want a biblical example of release?
Remember when Jesus identified Judas as the one who would betray him?
Listen to this
Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.”
I believe that’s the moment Jesus released him
Let me ask:
Did Jesus ever hold a grudge towards Judas?
Did he gossip about him after the Resurrection?
Did Jesus excuse what Judas did? No! He released him
This is why release is so important - so that we don’t carry a grudge against another human being
What I’m about to say, may stroke some fur the wrong way:
You are not noble because you hold a grudge against another human being
It doesn’t make you a better person to not forgive
That attitude is not Christ-like
You are only hurting yourself
I don’t care how evil that other person is (or was)
They could have murdered a person you love
But holding a grudge does not make you better than them
What makes you better is to be Christ-like
God does not want us to hold grudges
Let me ask this -
Have you ever thought, in a sense, that God will forgive everyone?
He will either exonerate you and completely forgive you through his grace,
Or he will release you into hell
God will not hold a grudge for all eternity against those in hell - because he releases them
Here’s another verse on God releasing people
Romans 1:28 (ESV)
And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.
Here’s a question for you:
If God doesn’t hold grudges - and if Jesus did not hold a grudge against Judas - why in the world are you holding a grudge against someone?
God releases stubborn sinners
When you release others - God gives you the peace
Three ways to forgive: exoneration, forbearance, and release
If I describe a forgiveness that completely wipes the slate clean, and the offender is truly sorry, you would say that type of forgiveness is called:_______ (exoneration)
If I describe a forgiveness where the offender partially apologizes, you would say that type of forgiveness is called: _________ (forbearance)
If I describe a forgiveness where the offender could care less about you, you would say that type of forgiveness is called: __________ (release)
Not only do you benefit from forgiving others in all of these types of forgiveness - but it gives glory to God
Closing
Closing
As I close, let me say -
I know for some, that this is a tough subject
I may have brought up some pain from the past
But I want to encourage you to give it up to the Lord
God knows your hurts and he wants to restore you
God desires reconciliation - between us and him - and between each other
(Pray…)
(Pick one…)
Communion
Communion
Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.
And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.
For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.
